The Downsizing Chronicles: Before And After Pics

It was only fitting that our former next-door neighbors of 10 years be our first, official guests to entertain.  It feels like another milestone has been achieved in that we can now have people over!

Here are the before and after pictures - thanks for looking!

Before

Taking down the walls/partitions really opened up the space fully, making it seem much larger.

We got a great deal (.99/sq foot at Home Depot) on hickory laminate with a 'handscraped' finish and we had this installed throughout the entire place.  Handscraped is intentionally designed to show more 'rough' spots, grain and texture which makes it look more authentic that typical laminate.

I sold the old oak cabinets to a friend for her rental property for $100.

After

IKEA was our main supplier in this renovation and we spent countless hours there!  They have a great online kitchen planning tool that we used to 'drag and drop' cabinets and appliances into place.  We were able to design our space using our actual specifications and room dimensions.  Beware, you are 99% on your own at IKEA - it is truly a do-it-yourself experience.  No hand-holding and  minimal input and advice from them.  As a result, we had several glitches.

Before

After

An island was a must and is now the focal point, gathering spot, food-prep and command central of the space.

We also gained precious living space by replacing the traditional swing-out door with a slider.  We bought an inexpensive hardware kit online then used a door from Home Depot and matched the handle with our kitchen hardware.





We created a banquette for our dining room table utilizing 2 walls as seats. We used IKEA bookcases with basket inserts that happened to be the perfect height and width for bench seating.  We had custom cushions and pillows made and it is very comfortable.  The glass table top also makes the space seem larger and more open.

Baskets underneath for storage

Bookshelf Banquette

Before

Our white ADEL IKEA cabinets are awesome and even our installer was impressed with the engineering, function and quality.  All of the drawers and organizers keep everything in its place, which I love.

We chose 'Coventry Gray' by Benjamin Moore as our wall color - I love that its a true gray as we've had mishaps before with gray paint looking too purple or blue on the walls.

After

We also ordered our 'Absolute Black' granite through IKEA too - had a bit of an issue with the installer/granite vendor.  Again, you are on your own with IKEA so be ready to advocate for yourself!

Mark created these beautiful blue, glass, light fixtures.  These were $3 each at IKEA as candle holders.  He bought a glass-cutting drill bit to make them into lights.

The Houzz website was my idea-generator as I'm not a creative person and need to see what I like from the creativity of others.  It's like Pinterest for designers and interior decorators - outstanding resource and gorgeous pictures!  This is where I got the ideas for the banquette, sliding 'barn' door, our glass tile backsplash and wall color.

We live in our StrengthsFinder paradigm and I'm a Maximizer.  I absolutely love taking something that is good and transforming it into something great.  My thrill is seeing the improvement, the gain, the potential come to life and this satisfying process is addicting for me.  I have to admit, there's even a touch of sadness and restlessness that its over!

Again, thanks for looking!

The Downsizing Chronicles - Creating a Guest Bedroom

We hit another milestone in our downsizing journey this weekend....we now have an official guest bedroom in our 1700 sq foot home!  Thanks to the genius invention of the Murphy bed and my husband's handyman extraordinaire, we are ready for guests and our 'spare' bedroom has yet another function.  It already serves as my husband's workout/treadmill room and his closet. 

 Our teenage daughters share our 600 sq foot basement.  I know...in our culture this is highly unusual that kids don't have their own rooms.  We are lucky in that they are very good friends, close in age (18 months apart - only 1 year in school), and pretty adaptable and practical.  We told them that when they head to college in a few short years, they will be sharing a room with a stranger that is 1/2 the size of their current bedroom.  Good practice for them!

Their basement 'crib' includes a big screen TV, a huge, comfy sectional, a bathroom, large closet, plenty of room for friends to sleepover (Paige had a birthday party and 12 girls successfully slept over), hardwood floors and all their high school memorabilia. 

However, once in awhile, they need to escape each other.  Our 'guest' room can now serve as an extra bedroom when one has friends over, a quiet, study room when one is on the phone and a 'time out' when they are sick of each other.  This was our main motivation for buying the Murphy bed.  A secondary motivation is that my wonderful in-laws visit in the summer and we prefer them staying with us over a hotel.  Friends visiting from out of town - totally welcome!

We bought our Murphy bed 'kit/guts' from The Bedder Way - what a great name and company!

www.bedderway.com

It arrived in boxes and is quality, custom, construction - we are very pleased.  It went together easily and as directed.  We choose IKEA for the cabinet surrounds and mattress - much cheaper this way and matches perfectly! 

We've found that every room has to be multi-functional, every precious square foot has to be maximized when living in a small space.  We have no room for clutter - no tolerance for stuff we don't value and use regularly!  Less stuff = more joy! 

New Year’s Resolution: 5 Ideas for More Time with Girlfriends in 2013

New Year’s Resolution: 5 Ideas for More Time with Girlfriends in 2013

One of my 2013 New Year’s ‘Intentions’ (sounds more flexible and dynamic than ‘resolutions’) is to spend more time with my girlfriends.  I find that they challenge me, inspire me, renew my soul and make me laugh – all blessings that add to my positivity!   We are all busy and the weeks fly by so I’ve found that I need to be very strategic, a bit sneaky and add events to my calendar to make sure girlfriend time happens.  None of these ideas are new but when we are intentional and purposeful, we work harder to create and seize opportunities.  Here’s 5 ideas that up my girlfriend time! 

1.  Run a Race Together/Exercise Dates:  Races have become parties – put a few on your calendar with running girlfriends!  Not only are the clothing souvenirs awesome, but the after-party often includes live music, champagne toasts and free food!   The best part is you can chat and catch up during the entire race, enjoy the scenery, fellowship and exercise together.   Team Ortho races are outstanding,well-organized, fun, giveaway great race gear and medals with parties at the finish: 
 Team Ortho

I’ve also met friends at yoga classes - it puts the date definitivelyon my calendar and I look forward to it all week!  Who can you meet for exercise dates in 2013?

2. Help a Girlfriend:  We moved in 2012 and one of my girlfriendsblessed me by helping me pack up my kitchen. She even went over and above by loading all the boxes into her van, thenunpacking it all in our new place!  Welaughed, chatted and the time flew by! Such a generous act that makes me want to be on the hunt foropportunities to pay a gift of service forward to someone else.  Who of your girlfriends could use a randomact of service from you in 2013? 

3.  Serve on a Board together – One of my best friends travels extensively to Honduras leading medical ‘brigades’(mission trips) of US doctors and nurses who perform surgeries and providebasic medical care to the citizens of Honduras. She (RN) and her orthopedic surgeon husband built a surgery center onthe Nuestros Pequenos Hermanos/Friends of the Orphans orphanage property, whichraises, loves and educates over 500 children: Holy Family Surgery Center

I learned early on in our friendship…in order to get time with her, I had to serve alongside her, which is an inspiring privilege.  I hang around; hoping her goodness, faith and spirit to serve will rub off on me.  We are on the Upper Midwest Regional Board for Friends of the Orphans together.  Attending the board meetings and my volunteer work there takes on new meaning when I can see my dear friend at all of the events and meetings. Volunteering with girlfriends really gives you a double boost – serving a great cause and awesome connecting time! 

4. Girlfriend Getaways:  Make this a highlight of 2013 – plan a weekend away with your best friends.  No schedule, no running kids, just fellowship and fun!   The anticipation and having such a fabulous trip to look forward to will bring the group joy for months!  The trip will renew your soul and refill your emotional reserves, making you more grateful when you go home.  Last summer, a girlfriend hosted a reunion at her cabin in WI and invited the women from our Bible study that met 25 years ago.  All 7 came from near and far including Chicago, San Francisco and Colorado! It was a weekend we’ll treasure forever!   Here’s a prior post about making a getaway weekend meaningful and fabulous:   Girlfriend Getaways for the Soul

5. Host a Party:  Organize a fun outing, event, Happy Hour,gathering, or a party for your girlfriends!  In 2013, commit to planning something; maybe even make it an annual tradition.  This year I hosted a Holiday Happy Hour and invited my girlfriends, business and nonprofit associates and it was a festive blast!  I had several ‘mixers’ that facilitated them connecting and meeting each other.  Women so easily find commonalities and ways to make meaningful connections – foster this for your pals through hosting an event this year. 

Make 2013 stand out by intentionally investing time in cultivating your relationships with girlfriends.  It will be an outstanding year!    

Jami Pogue | www.linkedin.com/in/jamipogue/

What Do You Want More of in 2013?

At the very core of Appreciative Inquiry is the life-giving, foundational question:  What do you want more of?

As the New Year approaches, our resolution-setting tradition is an outstanding opportunity to focus on what will bring us more life, more joy, more happiness.  

What do you want more of in your life?  How can you make this happen in 2013?

Me?
More date nights with my husband.

More dinners around the table with all 4 of us sharing our days, thoughts and opinions.

More time connecting with my daughters - looking deeply into their beautiful eyes, undistracted, giving them my full attention, hearing their thoughts, being in the moment with them while I still have them around.

More time at Lifetime Fitness - I love my club and feel pampered and joyful being there!

More time with my girlfriends - they refresh my soul and inspire me to be a better person.

More daily Mass, especially at our amazing parish in Punta Gorda FL - as often as possible.
More marketing focus at work.

More vegetables, less carbs in 2013.

More time with my parents expressing how grateful I am for their presence in my life.

More simplicity, less consumerism - continue to embrace and maximize our downsizing lifestyle.  

You?  What do you want more of in 2013?  Would love to hear your comments and thoughts!  Thanks for reading! 

The Downsizing Chronicles - Cleaning Out the Clutter

One of our many charity pick-ups.
Who checks huge suitcases anymore?

The 'Empty Nest' is still 4 years away but we made the decision to downsize early.  The decision took flight when we considered:

What would it be like to live closer to everything?  Less driving = more time and money for other things.  When we moved to MN in 2002, we opted for more square footage but it required us to move WAY out near nothing (we moved from Nebraska where housing was way more affordable).  After 10 years living in the boonies, we were very sick of driving!

How much more time would we have if we ditched all the seasonal chores, yard work and snow removal?  The thought of selling both the lawn mower and the snow blower filled my husband with joy!

What would it be like to have more financial freedom?  What emotional space would open up for us?  What worries would then become obsolete?  Contemplating this amazing thought really became the focal point of our decision.

Once we decided to downsize, the thought of all we had to get rid of was a bit daunting.  After 10 years, a house tends to fill up.  We got to work 'culling', tossing, donating and selling.  We had 2 garage sales, numerous charity pick ups and I am an official Craigslist maven - basically receiving pennies on the dollar for people to haul away what we no longer want.

It took us 9 months but was a cleansing and liberating process.  I realized needs vs. wants, sentimental 'keeps' vs junk as I was forced to make decisions on what to keep, what to store and what to toss.  Stuff was just stuff - so much we never even used or held any value.  Moving is a great reason to reevaluate what comes into your home and is kept.

During this process, a dear friend who lives in a very small but beautiful home on the shores of Lake Minnetonka, told me that living in a small space forces discipline - when something comes in, something must go out.  Space and storage constraints call for keen choices and disciplined spending.  So wise!

The Downsizing Chronicles – More Joy, Less Stuff

Beware of what you give up for Lent!  My resolution started out innocently enough – to give up shopping for 40 days, nothing for my closet or house, including abstaining from buying freezer and pantry stuff, forcing myself to creatively use what I had from my Costco-laden, stockpiled shelves.  After 10 years living in a house with space, every closet and drawer was stuffed, our basement and garage overflowing.  It was suffocating emotionally and a time-drain to maintain.  

By Easter, we were selling the house, downsizing and pursuing a drastic life change for our family. 

One of the first epiphanies gained from this exercise was to realize how retail therapy had become a form of entitlement; an‘ice-pack’ to dull the stress and angst I felt daily and nightly (in the form of anxiety-ridden insomnia) due to my former job.  Although the job was requiring way too much from me, I was making good money and I deserved to spend it however I pleased.  I bought a lot of frivolous stuff for my kids, my house, my yard and myself.   
  

When that angst was gone, I found I no longer needed to dull and numb myself with trips to TJ Maxx, too much wine and Advil PM.  Lent, meant to be an exercise in sacrifice, actually became a ticket to more emotional freedom, more gratitude and a desire to pursue happiness, joy and simplicity. 

Is excessive buying, consumerism and retail therapy evidence of a larger source of unhappiness that lies beneath as was certainly the case for me?   

5 Ways A Girlfriend Getaway Can Refresh the Soul!

My birthday gift to myself since turning 40 five years ago has been to invite treasured girlfriends for a weekend away.  Think of the people who are most life giving, most inspiring, most dear, most missed and I dare you to invite them on a trip! 

If you plan it….they will come! 

Who doesn’t need a break from our hectic lives as wives, mothers and professionals! 

Here is what I’ve learned to incorporate into these gatherings to make them monumental, unforgettable and inspirational!  

1. Invite a Group of with Commonalities & Cohesiveness:  Maybe your girlfriend getaway is a ‘reunion’ where your group already has bonds together from past experiences.  I have a need to reconnect with old friends, those from my past that I’ve served alongside and who’ve shared a pivotal period of life with me.  They are spread across the country and most don’t live close so it is precious time to spend time with them.  Think of friends who you immediately reconnect with like you’ve never been apart.  I invite like-minded women, often women who’s lives and faith inspire me and those whom I long to spend time with and learn from.  I know they’ll enjoy each other, as well.  Think of common relational or life-experience threads that will unite the group.  Avoid the narcissistic drama queens who dominate without emotional awareness and demand the spotlight shamelessly. 

2. Be Intentional About Fostering Meaningful Conversations:  Women are energized and inspired from thoughtful and emotional connections.  From Appreciative Inquiry, I’ve learned the power of ‘…..positive questions’ and the rich, meaningful conversations that inspire us to become better people as we learn from one another.   Have some questions prepared and infuse them into dinner conversations, as the chairs are circled up at the beach, lounging over coffee in the morning.  Go around and give each person time to share. This prevents one person from monopolizing the time and allows everyone a chance to reflect and respond.  A few of my favorites are:

·      What was your most satisfying experience from this past year?  What are you most grateful for or proud of?

·      How are you fostering gratitude…spiritual growth… being present in the moment…more time with your spouse/beloved/children….self-care…into your life? 

·      What do you want more of?

·      What has inspired you recently? 

·      Depending on the phase of life of the group…young children, teen years or empty nest… what is currently most challenging, most rewarding?  

 3. Keep the Schedule ‘Loose’:  One of the best refreshers of a girlfriend getaway is to have a break from the busy-ness of life.  Several days that are free from rushing, shuttling, working, cooking and cleaning can be revolutionary and can create space for new ideas, creativity, rest and refreshment.  Be flexible and have a general plan for the time, but don’t follow a strict schedule.  Some of the best connections, laughs and talks often happen just in ‘hanging out’ so leave room for this. 

4. Reconnect With Your ‘True Self’:  I find that being with old friends helps me remember who I am, who I’ve been and who I’ve set out to become.  These friends know me at my core and there have been difficult times when I’ve lost touch with the real me.  Rich times with true friends remind you of your strengths, what’s best about you, memories that help you remember yourself and provide life-giving, sometimes life-saving encouragement.  I leave the getaway with my ‘bucket filled’, feeling loved, ready to embrace my life again back home.  Have you lost yourself?  Has your current situation, challenge or difficulty produced a different, foreign you?  Girlfriends can bring you back and inspire a new course or perspective, perhaps inspire new courage. 

5. Enjoy a Break From Your ‘Fishbowl’: A lonely leadership position or a stressful, demanding job, or a difficult relationship definitely requires some off-duty time to recharge and refocus priorities in the company of encouraging friends.  One of my dear friends is a pastor’s wife and relishes a break from who she’s expected to be in this role back home. Maybe a break from your husband and kids can bring new appreciation and love for your life together.  A swim in the ocean after living in a fishbowl can be life-changing and perspective-altering. 

Great food and wine is a must!  Nothing like the sun, surf and the sounds of the beach or the beauty of nature to awaken the soul!  Give yourself the gift of time with girlfriends, away from our hectic lives. You’ll be a better wife, mother, coworker, leader and friend after a time away like this!  

 I’d love to hear comments from outstanding girlfriend getaway experiences out there!

Girlfriend Getaways....Nothing Better!

For my 40th birthday, I treated 5 of my dearest, oldest, faraway friends to a weekend in Las Vegas.  It was my birthday gift to myself.  Nothing like catching up with old friends in a fun, festive, exotic location with lots to do in between the fellowship, laughter and meaningful conversations!  Moms don't need much of an excuse to escape the day-to-day to party it up with good friends! 

Well, it was so beneficial for my soul that I've continued the tradition.  This will be the 4th year that I've invited women who are dear to my heart, that I can immediately reconnect with like we've never been away from each other and who's company feeds my soul and refills my bucket. 

Last year, I took my 4 female Managers/Rock Stars on a weekend getaway at the beach and did we ever celebrate, enjoy each other and contemplate our professional lives together.  I didn't know at the time that this would be our 'last hurrah' together as I would resign my CEO/leadership position 3 months later.  I'm so grateful we had this time together and it holds a special place in my heart! 

I'm counting down the days 'til the next girlfriend getaway at the end of this month!  The women coming this year are ones that I've served alongside in ministry, fellow moms that have shared life's milestones with me like pregnancy, infancy, toddler-hood and now teenage years.  These are the friends that I'm most inspired by and most try to emulate.  A rare and rich weekend to be together amidst our busy lives in different parts of the country. We will bless each other through our fellowship, sharing our life's joys and struggles, reconnecting and enjoying the company of dear, faraway, old friends. 

Proverbs 27:17 "As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend."

Inspired By An Old Friend...Downsizing

I admit....I am a Facebook addict.  I thoroughly enjoy keeping in touch with all of my 'friends' and knowing what is going on in their lives.  I take it seriously and check it religiously....everyday, unashamedly.

Last year, I was completely intrigued with one of my high school friend's family journey to sell their house in the 'burbs and move to downtown Minneapolis.  She chronicled it all in her blog and being the Facebook junkie that I am.... I read every post and was grateful for the glimpse she gave the world of the specifics of her journey. 

Here's her awesome blog and a few gorgeous pics of her view of the city: 

http://findingjoywithless.blogspot.com/

Turns out my friend, Kristin Berns, is also a brilliant life coach - so wise, committed to helping people uncover their strengths and move forward in "creating life and work that brings you joy". 

Check out her website:  http://www.kristinberns.com/

Well, a year later, my husband and I find ourselves on a similar journey.  What started out as giving up buying 'stuff' and shopping for Lent, has taken on a life of it's own and now we're talking about downsizing, selling our house and moving into a much smaller space, even the possibility of going 'mortgage-free' by moving into one of our rental townhomes.  I asked Kristin do to coffee and to have the opportunity to ask her specific questions about their decision.  What a delight to see their beautiful 22nd floor home in the heart of the city and to hear how their joy as a family has increased as a result of this decision! 

Where her kids on board?

How did they get rid of stuff? 

What 'space' opened up as a result of living in a smaller space with less 'stuff'? 

Any regrets? 

She was generous and gracious in answering all of my questions....it really confirmed our thinking, excitement and commitment to moving toward this decision. 

How Appreciative Inquiry Can Change Your Life

This is a picture of me in my happy place.  This is the easiest place for me to live present in the moment, experience the greatest 'flow', loving life...on our sailboat, Lake Waconia, MN. 

Appreciative Inquiry is a way to live 'happy', to be eternally positive, seeking what's best and good in every situation.  I first found out about AI from a dear, Canadian friend, Jeanie Cockrell who has a vibrant, transformational, AI practice serving a diversity of organizations.  She shared with me the fundamentals of AI and I knew it was what I needed to implement into our organization, as I was a CEO at the time. 

I decided to invest in an Appreciative Inquiry Facilitators Training & Certification in beautiful Las Vegas.  This was the best leadership seminar I ever attended!   It not only taught me the basics of AI but also shifted my thinking, paradigm and view of how to live my best life, both professionally and personally! 

Appreciative Inquiry is about the coevolutionary search for the best in people, their organizations, and the relevant world around them. In its broadest focus, it involves systematic discovery of what gives “life” to a living system when it is most alive, most effective, and most constructively capable in economic, ecological, and human terms. AI involves, in a central way, the art and practice of asking questions that strengthen a system’s capacity to apprehend, anticipate, and heighten positive potential. It centrally involves the mobilization of inquiry through the crafting of the “unconditional positive question” often-involving hundreds or sometimes thousands of people. In AI the arduous task of intervention gives way to the speed of imagination and innovation; instead of negation, criticism, and spiraling diagnosis, there is discovery, dream, and design. AI seeks, fundamentally, to build a constructive union between a whole people and the massive entirety of what people talk about as past and present capacities: achievements, assets, unexplored potentials, innovations, strengths, elevated thoughts, opportunities, benchmarks, high point moments, lived values, traditions, strategic competencies, stories, expressions of wisdom, insights into the deeper corporate spirit or soul-- and visions of valued and possible futures. Taking all of these together as a gestalt, AI deliberately, in everything it does, seeks to work from accounts of this “positive change core”—and it assumes that every living system has many untapped and rich and inspiring accounts of the positive. Link the energy of this core directly to any change agenda and changes never thought possible are suddenly and democratically mobilized.  From the AI Commons Website

I immediately assembled my work teams and conducted AI sessions.  You wouldn't believe the positive energy that was created as we shared our best company 'stories' of success, impact and the personal fulfillment that came from our collaboration with each other pursuing our common mission.  Inspirational...to say the least. 

More powerful even was the effect it had on me personally.  I devoured everything I could on 'Appreciative Living' and was blessed to find Jacqueline Kelm's book, The Joy of Appreciative Living.  Absolutely transformational for me!  The book explains exactly how and why Appreciative Living works.  "It transforms years of trial, complexity, and insight into one highly focused program of daily practice that makes all the difference in your world." She guides you through how to capture what most feeds your joy, gratitude and happiness on a daily basis and now to envision a future based on your highest hopes and dreams! 

Are you feeling stuck, trapped, bowled over by your responsibilities, stress, and obligations....give this a try and see how your world opens up, new opportunities exist right in front of you, joy and happiness are within your grasp.  Appreciative Inquiry can be transformational for you too!